Searching For Strength?

Are you searching for strength during Shelter-In-Place? Well, folks, I got a class for you. Get your glutes on with this assclass. 

I will be holding a beta version of this online class this Monday at 5 PM. You can sign up through Calendly with this link to get more information about it.

If you are searching for inner strength, I am teaching an online Community Yoga Nidra class on Tuesdays, at 8PM.  This class will began with gentle yoga exercises and breath work - followed by a guided meditation. You can sign up through Calendly with this link to get more information about my Tuesday Community Yoga Nidra class.

Sliding scale for classes is $10-$20. No one will be turned away for lack of funds.  To make a donation, you can Venmo me @angeles-rios or PayPal me using angeles@angelesrios.com to make a donation.

Chocolate Cake & Me

This picture is of me doing Parakeet — a pilates move based on control, balance, and some strength. You don’t have to be a super athlete to do it, but it sure looks cool during times when I am experiencing a flare and could barely walk. I wanted to share this picture because of what I wrote and to show you how I can move when I don’t have a flare. Living with an autoimmune conditions takes a lot of twist and turns. Why developing self-compassion and a support group has been so important for me as part of my healing journey.

I wrote an article on Medium yesterday and wanted to share what I wrote here.  

Being stiff sucks, but not as much as it did a couple of days ago — when I could barely walk.

Seating on my couch, I tried to retrace my steps to figure out why I was in so much pain and could barely see out of my left eye about two weeks ago. For those of you who haven’t figured out, I was experiencing a flare (when someone with an autoimmune conditions feels more of their symptoms).

“Why is this happening?” were questions asked by my friends, colleagues, doctors and even myself. This question was typically followed with another one, such as ‘“What did I do?” or “Was I stressed out about something?”’ For the latter, I would respond with a solid, ”Nope.” If anything, I was only feeling more stressed because of this damn flare! So what could have started it? What did I do that was different the past few weeks or days?

Okay, well there was something I did do differently. A couple of weeks ago, I ate a chocolate cake from a BBQ that I assumed was flourless. Apparently, it was not. The day I ate it, I started to notice something different about me, but I ignored it; thinking I was going to be just fine.

After several days, my body started showing signs of fierce retaliation with this ‘flourless’ cake. One of the first signs I knew something was up was when I started to experience a scratchy sensation in my left eye. This mild irritation slowly transformed into a bout of photophobia (when the eye becomes sensitive to light) — something was going terribly wrong.

This was definitely a case of uveitis (when part of the iris becomes inflamed). I haven’t had uveitis for at least 2.5 years— when I started the autoimmunepaleo protocol (a paleo based elimination diet and lifestyle). Before starting the diet elimination part of the autoimmunepaleo (AIP) , I took biologics (powerful anti-inflammatory drugs) to reduce my symptoms of uveitis and spondylitis.

Being drug-free and uveitis-free, since going AIP, I was in heaven for 2.5 years! I forgot that I could get flares like this serious one again. I also didn’t think by eating a piece of chocolate cake that I could go back to my same old self.

Now, I was back to filling my free time with doctor appointments, going to the pharmacy for steroids, and sitting indoors with a baseball cap and shades because natural light irritated my eye. All for eating a stupid yet delicious large piece of chocolate cake. Worth it? Kind of… but I don’t think to this negative degree on my health.

I just wanted to make it go away without the use of drugs. At the same time, I was also working with my feelings of shame. Leading a San Francisco autoimmunepaleo (AIP) support group, studying the impact of gluten on autoimmune conditions, and blogging about gluten-free recipes and wellness, how could I have made this type of mistake? I wanted to be a leader who knew better. But I guess I am not that perfect person. I am still learning to take care of myself and learning through my mistakes.

Fortunately, I have learned a lot since my last flare. Being a nutrition nerd and student at Bauman College for Holistic Nutrition, I figured out what I could do to calm my flare.

Once I targeted what initiated my current flare, I started an appropriate healing protocol for me. I started drinking bone broths, chewing more, drinking bitters and sour concoctions, meditating more, doing less, taking more naps, and taking both supplements and herbal antibiotics. After a week’s worth of appropriate self-care, I was back to walking and seeing normal again. During this time, I still took a steriod for my eye; respecting both western and eastern practices when used appropriately.

With flares like this one, I don’t take for granted my movement capability or get down on myself for not working harder to be part of some fitspo community on social media. As a movement instructor and healer, I simply want to walk and see. And to teach my clients and community how to move smarter, get stronger, and feel better. I lost my ego to looking like a super fit model for inspiration a long time ago. Plus, I have been there, done that. And learned that you can look fit, but not feel well too. Another topic, I can discuss in another article.

In addition, I am grateful for knowing what to do when I get my flares. I may not be perfect with every decision I make — especially if the decision has to do with ‘chocolate’ & ‘cake,’ but I can continue to work on putting myself together whenever I do fall apart.

I have shared this part of my life with you in hopes that you may find some self-compassion and light humor when you find yourself straying from your wellness rituals. Lastly, I wrote this piece to help you understand a small part of what some people with autoimmune conditions may experience.

How To Create Your Own Mindful Dinner!

After presenting my passion project on Mindful Dinners at Shine, I wanted to share with you some of my newfound wisdom on how to create your own mindful dinner! 

Benefits Of A Group Practice

• Increased accountability to practice.

• Increased feeling of connection to a community and expansion of network of support.  

• Less experienced practitioners can learn from more experienced practitioners.

• Experienced practitioners can learn how to teach and guide less experienced practitioners.  

• Exchange of recipes, cooking techniques, and inspiration for trying something new.

Stay Focused

You can create an intention, preamble, or theme for the event to guide the planning and execution of the event. Feel free to start developing this intention before the dinner or once the group begins to meet, in order to create a shared one. Setting guiding principles (in yoga terms, they are called sankalpas) will help with your decision making and communication style of the event. Once the intention is set, the leader can communicate it to attendees and all helpers. You can decide to practice one type of meditation or change it up as the intention and group evolves.

With my dinners, my intention was to  help support people to explore more intimacy in a safe and nourishing environment to connect to their deepest desires.  I developed questions for attendees to answer as a group and among each other to explore mental formations they developed and what their peers developed as well (ex. What does intimacy look like to you?).  Before each meal, I offered a story of why I was serving it. Before eating each dish, I encouraged a mindful practices (ex. noticing the taste, texture, aesthetics, smell, sound, inner thoughts, and inner physiology).

I also wanted attendees to develop a practice that they could take beyond the dinner. Because of my intentions,  I offered paper and pens to attendees to write out a lovingkindness mantra after they finished eating.  I shared examples of lovingkindness phrases, so they could have some ideas.  Lovingkindness nourishes intimacy and exploration, which is why I chose to end with this type of practice.  Throughout the dinner, I used a mix  of different styles of meditation I have practiced, because I used different styles during my healing journey.

In addition, I offer a paleo inspired dinner which does not follow most traditional Buddhist lineages. I wanted to offer this type of event to share the type of food that has worked to heal me. What has helped me to become more  intimate in my life are my guiding principles.   

Schedule It and Share It

Set up a time and place.  

Figure out a place: a home, yoga studio, gallery, co-working space, church, monastery could work.  In the summer or spring, look for outdoors at a park or public space.  Typically, as long as the place is quiet or serene, it can work.  

Let people know about it: send out an email or post a message to your networks. I find word of mouth works best for the type of dinners I coordinate. For social media, you can use Facebook event pages (this way friends can add their friends to the event), Evite, Eventbrite, community calendars, and Meetup groups.  If you plan to have it at a yoga studio or church, request the studio to post it on their calendar.  

 

Delegate Responsibilities

Choose a leader who will guide the meditation or be responsible to offer pre-recorded guided meditation or figure out what the group wants to read, chant, exercise or practice. Exercises can include the following:  silent guided meditations, mandala drawings, vision boarding, mantra making, Q&As, lectures, and book readings.  

For my events, I allowed ½ hour for arrival time, 30 minutes of meditation exercises, a story telling for each dish served, and a homework exercise to take beyond the event.  Throughout the dinner, I am being conscious of how much guidance in meditation and mindful eating is appropriate for attendees - allowing for change in plans as needed.  

Figure out if you want to do a potluck or a dinner. If it is a dinner, have someone be a leader for this part.  Another person could be in charge of the event planning (logistics, decor, plates, execution, and/or theme).

From experience, I found it hard to be present when multitasking delegate, delegate, and delegate!

Figure Out Food Accommodations

If you are doing a potluck, this section may not apply to you. If you are planning a full dinner, please continue reading this section.  

Create a Mis en Place for organizational purpose.

Some easy to do meals I have done include:

1) Slow cooked meats which are easy to keep warm.

2) Puree’s that can easily be kept warm.

3) Salads made in advance; you can add the dressing when ready to serve.  

Future Events

Create a sign-up sheet for attendees to collect emails for future events. This information may be important to keep for funding future gatherings.

Pay For Your Expenses

You can ask for dana or charge upfront for the total cost of it.  Depending on your intentions and situation, either set-up will make sense or not.  

Register Your Group

If you are sticking to follow a particular lineage of meditation, you can register your events with such organizations (ex. MBSR, Thich Nhat Hanh, and so forth).  

No More Living Hard

Growing up in the LBC, I connected with the rap lyrics “No more living hard,” by Dr. Dre.  And through being inspired by some of my biggest role models - like Thich Nhat Hanh, Jane Goodall, and Dr. Marian Diamond - I knew something different was possible. Their light and others is what inspired me to study biology and to practice meditation and yoga therapy. Plus, carrying a hard heart, mind, and body was energetically draining for me.  To shift this heavy weight, I knew I had to focus on practices that allowed me to transform my mind, body, and heart in order to experience a deeper self-love and a more fulfilled, meaningful life. Letting go of my hardness has allowed me to focus on what matters most in my life, which is to help people heal themselves using mindful movement for wellbeing.  It has become my life's purpose.  

Because I am committed to working on helping people heal themselves, I am also committed to learning to be aware of my habitual patterns and learning to let them go when they longer serve me. This way, I can be a better role model and of service. It is a path that has helped me better connect to my deep intentions from a place of deep love, connection, and curiosity. My path is simple yet not easy.  And it is why I constantly practice reviewing my intentions, relaxations exercises, nonviolent communication, and meditation.

Currently, I haven’t yet reach enlightment, though working on it!   As I am learning to work with the mantra ‘progress and not perfection’, I am learning to be kinder to myself and  playful with the process of learning and living. It means making mistakes and allowing myself to become aware of them with kindness. It also means gaining wisdom so that I do 'better' from knowing 'better' - in other words being more wise in thoughts, speech, and movements.

With these thoughts and the best of my intentions, I want to leave you with a practice that may help you let go of some ways that may be contributing to you living ‘hard.’  Feel free to record yourself speaking it aloud, so you can listen to it. And, seriously, I would love to know how this practice or other ones work for you!

Short Body Scan & Intentional Exercise

Part A:

I invite you to find a comfortable position and to close your eyes.  

Notice your thoughts, feelings and sensations.  

Start to notice your left ear, right ear, both ears. 

Now, your left shoulder blade, right shoulder blade, and both shoulder blades.  

Then your left hip, right hip, both hips.  

Left leg, right leg, both legs.  

Left foot, right foot, both feet.

Repeat part A another time.

Create an intention you would like to create for today or for this week.  It could be three words.

I invite you to go back to your breath - sensing it more than thinking it. 

Allow yourself to count your breath for 5-10 times.  If you lose count, please feel free to start over again.

Feel free to review your intention or a new one that you would like to create for rest of the day, week, or for your next practice. 

How would this intention feel in you body, mind and heart?  Feel free to take this practice with you as you slowly open your eyes.

Notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations.  

Feel free to write about your experience and/or continue the rest of your day.